Live Like We Believe

Most Americans over the past few decades (at least middle and upper class citizens for sure) have grown too comfortable with life in general. We hold strong convictions and beliefs; but when it comes right down to it, are these convictions really important to us.

In the days of the pioneers men and women worked hard. They often spent their days working tirelessly on tasks they did not enjoy. The men slaved away to make a home for their family to live in, and then worked and toiled trying to produce food from the sometimes stubborn land. The women spent long hours making clothing, food, and other necessities for their families. Sometimes they had to be extremely creative to provide for the needs of those around them. Why? Why would these people voluntarily subject themselves to rough conditions? Because they believed in something. They had a picture of what their family needed, what would ultimately give them what was best, and they stopped at nothing to reach that goal.

There are stories of people in the Bible like Paul and Abraham who stopped at nothing to serve their Lord. Paul went on many journeys, suffered persecution and imprisonment time and again, why? Because he truly believed in the gospel message. Abraham was willing to take his son Isaac to the alter and sacrifice him as God had asked. Why? Because he believed that God is a God that keeps His word. God had promised that Abraham would have enumerable offspring through Isaac, and He believed what God said.

So often we live like we believe until it gets hard. We talk about the importance of health or losing weight...until we have to put into practice some things that are difficult. We talk about the importance of family and friends, and we mean it...until we have to sacrifice things we don't want to, or we have to put forth more effort than we desired. We tout the significance of investing our money and recognizing that it's God's...until that means we can't have the latest thing. We easily admit the importance of making sacrifices for God...unless that means we actually have to work harder or do something we don't like, or step out of our box to fulfill that calling. We easily talk with other Christians about the importance of living our lives for God first, and we truly believe that...until God's plans don't match with ours, or until He asks us to do something hard, or if He asks us to let go of something we don't want to.

My question is this: Why don't we live like we truly believe? We live in an age of ideals and opinions. Everyone has strong opinions and can talk-it-up like you wouldn't believe, but we fail to step out of our zone of comfort, we fail to ask God to help us to do what is difficult, we fail to trust Him implicitly, and we live like we believe as long as it's easy. I don't want to live like that anymore.

"And [Jesus] was saying to them all, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it...'"
~Luke 9:24-25

What do you believe in?

Confused and Loving the Commission

This sign seems very fitting for my life lately. I'm so lost. I have no idea where God wants me to go or what He wants me to do. Over the past week I have gone through so many ideas it's not even funny. Most of them are falling through. So, what does God want of me. It's too the point that I'm not even sure about the next step any more.

I wish I could share with you all of the possible future plans that are unsure, but I cannot. Arlen and I have decided that for right now, we need to pray and leave room for the Holy Spirit to work. We don't want our decision to be based on the ideas and opinions of those around us, but rather on the clear leading of the Holy Spirit. So, on that note. I solicit your prayers.

I do, however have an adventure to share with you! Last night Arlen and I were driving home from taking care of a friend's animals. I felt a sudden urge to go downtown to check out the houses we had been looking at online. It seemed like something fun to do. We don't know much about the safety of the "neighborhoods" so we decided a Saturday night might be a good time to check it all out.

We went home, picked out the four houses we were most interested in and printed out directions. At 8:58 (I think that's the right time), we set out on our grand adventure. We maneuvered our way around the city to come to the first house. As we turned onto the street we were delighted to see children of all ages and ethnicities playing together. There were people socializing. That was a good sight. The houses were not very big and were diverse. Some were in bad shape, and others had obviously quite recently been remodeled. As we approached the house, we looked inside and were very pleased with what we saw through the windows. The yard was big and the house was surrounded with trees (kind of). It was like a little piece of heaven at the end of that street. Our next step was to talk to the people who actually lived there. Would they be friendly? Would the neighborhood be safe?

As we talked with one guy we learned that the street was very friendly indeed. Everyone knew each other and enjoyed spending time together. That was exciting news! We felt very safe on the street, which was good. We loaded back in the car, and prepared to search for the second house on our list.

This house was less than a mile away, but felt like a completely different part of the world. As we turned on the appropriate street, we noticed immediately that strange men were randomly wondering around. I quickly locked all the doors in the car. When we realized we were going the wrong way on the street we turned around, and this guy (he must have been drunk), tried to flag us down. We still hadn't found the house yet, but at that point we decided it didn't matter. We did NOT feel safe in this neighborhood, so we headed to our next destination.

The next house was in a nice area, definitely more middle class. While this neighborhood wasn't as friendly as the first, it did seem safe. People seem to keep to themselves (like typical Americans). The house was nice. It's nice and big, with a separate apartment option on the top. It also had a nice big deep yard. We looked at what little we could see and resumed our journey.

Suddenly, we were redirected on our trek. As we got to a crosswalk, Arlen was letting a guy in a wheelchair cross, but instead of crossing, he came to our car and tried to get a ride. We looked at each other, and thought "why not," so he skillfully and quickly got himself and his wheelchair settled in our back seat and gave us directions on how to get to the Tennessee aquarium (that's where he wanted to go) from where we were. By this point, we were totally turned around and confused. We successfully dropped him off, got our bearings and headed out again.

As we got closer and closer to our destination, we felt more and more the suffocation of the city. We were exhausted, and confined and we wanted out. We quickly drove by the last house, and we were ready to go home!

What an experience. It's amazing how much diversity there is in such a small area. I think the biggest impact our Saturday night exploring had on me was the realization that there is a whole world out there that I am completely unaware of. I have lived my life in a middle class, Adventist community my whole life. There is so much to experience in life. There are so many ways that God can use me! So many ways I want Him to use me. (I just wish I knew His plans.) I'm eager to face life head on and experience more than comfortable suburbia. I feel the incredible inspiration in the great commission, and that is what I leave you with:

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
~ Matthew 28:19-20

I Think I'm Graduating With the Wrong Degree

Have I chosen the wrong major? Here I am, only 3 classes away from graduating - sick and tired of school, and I think I've finally figured out what I'm supposed to do with my life...well at least what degree I should graduate with. I should have been an education major!!

Let me explain. I love kids. If any of you have worked with me at camp, you know that God has placed in my life a special kind of connection with children. There is no better feeling in the world than to help kids grow a little closer to God. I also LOVE to make lesson plans. I know this sounds crazy, but I really do. The problem is the kind of lesson plans I like to make. (And this is the reason why I never went into education). I am not a text book person at all. Now, don't get me wrong, I think text books have their time and place, but they are way over rated, and completely overused. I enjoy this kind of all or nothing learning. For example - reading text books - I just don't get it. Now it's possible I could be missing something, but why do we have them? Especially in today's world where you can get books on just about any topic at about any reading level. Why not read about some of the other things you are learning in class, to get kids excited about reading. You can read about animals, history, science, God, social studies; you name the topic, there are bound to be level-appropriate reading materials on that topic.

With just about any subject, you can have hands-on activites that teach far more than being confined to worksheets and textbooks will ever teach. With math - apply the math that is being taught to fun situations - cook, have "stores" set up to learn how to use money, be creative. When you are learning about science, don't just read about it in a text book, experience it. Rather than just reading a chapter about clouds, go outside, look up at the sky, peak your students curiosity by asking them questions. Go, lay on your backs, look up at the sky. What do you see? What shapes are in the clouds? What kind of clouds do you think they are? How many kinds of clouds are there? Do different clouds do different things? Then maybe think of creative ways to find out about clouds and let the kids do the teaching - let them present their findings.

I am also a huge proponent of field trips! Take the kids to experience as much as they can. They will learn much more from these experiences. Have them take pictures and make scrapbooks of the field trip. Get them excited about life, about all the things God has blessed us with in this world. The last thing I support in school is family involvement. If parents aren't involved it's no good. So you bet as a teacher I'd be having parents over to my house for meals, I'd be having all sorts of activities in which the whole family can get involved.

I guess I've been so afraid that this type of teaching would not be accepted. Especially now with all of the "No Child Left Behind" laws. Yet I wonder. What am I to do? What is God's plan for me? How does Joshua's House fit into all of this? Was I supposed to be a teacher? Do I get a degree other than the one I'm graduating with in December? So many questions. These questions spin my life kind of upside down.

Amidst all of this I am drawn to God. He knows my future, my past and present. And He knows how everything will work out. He tells us

"For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." ~Jeremiah 29:11-13

So I rest on that. The question is, am I ready? Am I ready to lay aside all my preconceived notions of what life SHOULD look like? Am I willing to lay down all the plans that I have laid for my life? Am I willing to live radically? To do whatever God requires of me? Am I willing to let go?

Contagious Excitement

This week we had some exciting things going on in our house. Let me explain. Arlen received a call from one of his clients asking him to meet at their office for a thank you surprise they had for him. Not thinking much of it, Arlen headed over to their office. As he talked to the staff member he had been working with the most, she handed him an envelope with his name on it. Arlen opened it and what he found inside made him stand there for a minute dumbfounded. It was a $2000 voucher with the MAC symbol on it. Not wanting to believe that this really was $2000 toward a new mac computer, Arlen waited for some sort of explanation. Sure enough, his initial reaction was correct. The company Arlen had been working for really appreciated his work and wanted to tell him thank you by getting him a new mac computer.

Arlen has been elated. This week he has told everyone he knows about this amazing gift he has received. Each time he tells the story, his face lights up more than it did the previous time he told it. As I was watching him share his story one time it hit me. This is totally how it is with God. God does amazing things for us. Often they simply go unnoticed, and even when we are aware of them, we keep them to ourselves. However, if we would share the wonderful things God is doing in our lives, our excitement would only grow! Just as Arlen gets more excited every time he shares about his new mac, we will get more excited about God's working in our lives every time we share what He's doing with others - and they will get excited too! (I've also noticed that excitement seems to be contagious.)

A Petition for Prayer

I am requesting your prayers. You see, for a while now (I'm not really sure how long, but I know at least a year), I have been having issues with sleep. It's not insomnia, no, I can fall asleep pretty quick. The trouble is staying asleep. I wake up several times throughout the night. Most of the time I easily fall back asleep; but as you can imagine, waking up at least 6 times a night doesn't prove for a very restful sleep. This is a problem. I often wake up in the morning still feeling exhausted, sometimes even more tired than I was when I went to bed. This problem is affecting my life, and I don't like it. Because of this, my emotional stability is not that good, and that affects my life in so many ways. Worst of all, it affects my ability to serve God fully and completely. I'm so exhausted I just don't have much to give Him.

Realizing this I have made a decision. I will no longer stand for this. I am soliciting everyone that I know to pray for me...hard. I know God wants me to be an effective worker for Him. I also know that He has promised His children rest (Matthew 11:28). He tells us again and again to be persistent in our prayers. He also tells us to have confidence in the prayers that we send heavenward (1John 5:14). So that's what I'm going to do. And that's what I ask You to do with me. Together we can pray until God gives me rest. I know this is important to God because it effects my relationship with Him. I know He will answer our prayers.

Thank You all for laying this issue before the throne of grace with me!

God bless!

Laura Byrd

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." ~Matthew 19:26

Is Anyone Listening?

So, this has been killing me for a while. I've been wondering...who is really reading my blog? Is anyone reading my blog? Are my words simply slipping into oblivion? If that's the case, I'm kind of sad, but I will not stop writing. I could never stop writing. There is something powerful about putting my thoughts into words, about taking time to really reflect on God's work in my life, about recognizing His workings. So no, I won't stop writing, I just wanted to know...who's listening.

Stronger Faith

So normally I try to blog about Joshua's House stuff on my Joshua's House blog, and what's going on in my life on this blog. Well, those two paths are now crossing. Astonishing, I know. The reality is that my other blog is more of a professional blog, and well, Joshua's House is just so much a part of my life right now that I can't possibly reduce it to a continually formal level. Okay, sorry for that ramblesome introduction, now I will stop and actually write what I was planning on writing.

I've been spending a lot of time over the last few days kind of throwing myself into Joshua's House. I've been loving it. And God has used it in amazing ways to stretch and strengthen my faith. Yesterday evening I went to a birthday party. While I was there it seemed I spent the whole time answering questions and sharing with some of the people present about this wonderful ministry that is taking shape. It was so much fun! It made me think a lot too. You know, it's kind of hard starting a ministry, especially one with the scope of Joshua's House. There are so many choices to make, so many things I'm unsure, so much work that needs to be done. At time it becomes overwhelming. It is at those times that I want to start taking over. I immediately jump into fund raising mode desperately trying to find a way to come up with funds to pay for people to design a website, write songs, stock photography, stories, and the list continues. But all of these things show a lack of faith. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that fund raising is bad at all. Let me explain what I mean just a little more.

Last night, David Gates shared some thoughts with us for sundown worship at the party. He was talking some about his ministry, Gospel Ministries International. This is an amazing ministry run entirely by volunteers - nobody gets paid for their work. David was talking about how his family decided to take a year off. They would be totally ready and open to God's guidance and would not accept a salary for any of the work that they did. They knew that God would provide for their needs. And sure enough, He has. He shared story after story of contacts that God brought to David that he needed to push things forward. He shared stories about how they got helicopters, airplanes and all sorts of things that they needed with no money. He reminded me that God owns it all. He owns the whole world. He doesn't need any money. If I need help, or volunteers or anything, I just need to turn to God. Joshua's House is God's ministry. It's not mine. I just have to be willing to do what He asks of me, and He will provide the finances, volunteers and all the resources that are needed. I just have to trust Him.

Over the past few days, I have felt really challenged by all that God is asking me to do. I still do not understand it all completely. I am not positive where He is leading, or even what the next step is, but I pray that I may always seek Him first, rather than trying to clumsily make it through on my own puney knowledge. God has promised that He will show me the way!

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."
~ Isaiah 30:21

Vacation at Little River Farms pt. 2 Peacocks and Pony Rides

We're still having a great time here at Little River Farms. As you can see in the picture, I especially like that my traditional garb (overalls) is quite appropriate for such a vacation.

Now it's time to share a little more about our trip. One of the places we spend the most time is down at the big bird cages. Ronan particularly likes to sit and watch the turkeys, ducks, chickens and homing pigeons. Although all of these birds are fun, he most enjoys watching the peacocks. There are two Indian Blue and One Java green males. (The females aren't quite as fun to watch.) We like to watch as the males slowly spread their beautiful feathers and stamp and dance around trying so hard to get the attention of their female cagemates. Often they are like little sonars following the females around the cage begging for attention. This display can be slightly depressing to watch as the males put forth so much effort to attract the females, but often, the females ignore the very existence of the males.

On Sabbath we had an exciting adventure! First we took off on a hay ride. Ronan wasn't too sure about a hay ride on Friday, but by Saturday, he was ready to go. This is MarMai, DarDai and Ronan on a god ole' trailer hay ride.

After we got off the trailer, Janetta was quick to note that the pony was out and ready to give some pony rides. As Netta is a horse lover, it didn't take long for her to become interested in the idea of getting her kids up on Baby (that's the pony's name). Ronan quickly protested, proclaiming that he was afraid of the horse, so his little sister, Aurora, was the first to sit on Baby.



Ronan still wasn't sure about the pony, even after seeing how much his sister loved sitting on the stout animal. Janetta confidently picked him up and plopped him on the horse before Ronan really knew what was going on. A little unsure, he gave a smile, and after the pony started to move, a huge grin lit up his face.


As the pony ride came to an end, Ronan decided he didn't want to get off. He wanted to ride the pony all the way "home" to the inn. That's just what he got to do! Like a joyful little cowboy, Ronan got front door service with the fun pony, Baby.



You know, I wonder how much God tries to give us good things, and we either completely ignore Him, or are too afraid to accept His wonderful blessings. I've been thinking about that a lot this weekend as I have watched Ronan and the Peahens. No matter how hard the Peacocks try to get the attention of the lady peahens, they simply ignore the males in their cage. How often does God try to get my attention and I cruelly turn the other way, or even pretend I don't notice Him.

And, just like Ronan, how often am I so afraid to try new things and accept the challenges that God lays before when a magnificent reward awaits my obedience. Ronan's rewards for overcoming his fears were a pony ride and a hay ride. How much more wonderful things is God ready to give me if I will simply acknowledge His presence and follow His leading, even when it is a bit scary?

Vacation at Little River Farms pt. 1 Little Emma

On Thursday, May 31 only about an hour behind schedule, the Byrd van set out from Lonny and Netta's house. We were headed out on a great adventure. As we began to travel on the windy roads, our trip began with a wise word of advice from Ronan, my three year old nephew. "MarMai," he said to my mother-in-law who was driving, "don't forget to stay on the road." Thus began our exciting journey. A little less than an hour later we drove up to a wonderland of peacocks, goats, donkeys, chickens, a pond, a river, a playground and so much more.

As all six of us piled out of the van, we were happily pleased to see the accommodations for the week far exceeded our expectations. After unpacking, no one had to ask where we were headed next. We were going down to see the animals.

The first animal to greet us was almost literally right outside our front door. It was a shy llama.



It didn't take long for us to discover that there were actually three llamas. All of them are quite curious and come up to the fence every time we pass by. However they are not too sure about us touching them. They are a bit shy.

As we trekked down the dusty trail we soon spotted the goat pin to our left. I was thrilled to discover this fun little critters. I would love to have a goat farm, and I think now that Arlen has seen the fun animals, he may agree.



This is me with Emma. Emma is the sweetest goat of them all, and I quickly fell in love with her. As we stepped inside the goat pin she looked up at us and quickly came running over. That's just how Emma is. Every time we visit her, she comes trotting right over as soon as she sees us. This little goat loves attention, especially if it includes a good neck scratching. Not only is Emma a sweetie, she is quite curious. When Arlen was taking pictures, she saw the flash on the camera, and immediately she was there, trying to figure out what that flashy thing was. She even climbed Arlen in a effort to figure out her discovery.



The thing about Emma is that although she is a sweet heart, she is very jealous. She wants all the attention, and doesn't want to share with anyone around. These are a couple of goats that very much wanted our attention, but were afraid of Emma. (She has a tendency to head butt any of the other goats who get too close to the people giving her attention.) All of the goats are well behaved, but when Emma is around, they are much more cautious to approach humans for attention.



I'm looking at the time, and I'm realizing that I'm going to have to end this blog here pretty soon. I'll continue part two tomorrow. But, rather than ending abruptly, I'd have to say that as usual, God has taught me a lesson through little Emma. She is very sweet, however her jealousy often gets in the way of her enjoying the attention she craves. When people come to the petting zoo Emma typically gets put in the barn, away from all the excitement. Her selfish battles tend to scare the kids and her behavior to the other goats is completely unacceptable. The thing is, if Emma allowed the other goats to come over and get some attention as well, she would end up with a lot more loving pats, scratches, rubs (and even a few more treats).

I can't help but realize how much I take after this little goat. I often am so afraid of loosing the gifts that God has given me that I become protective of them. I don't want to share my time, my stuff, my husband, I want these things all to myself to be used how I think they should be used. I wonder how many times God has to give me a "time out" because of my selfishness. God has created us to share all the blessings that He has given us. Only by doing this will our blessings continue to grow and our joy increase. I pray that God will help me learn to share...ALL of the blessings He has given me!

The Crazies...

Yup, I've got those. I don't want to do anything but I have so much to do! (Does this sound familiar?) Well, if you're wondering why this sudden burst of craziness hit, I will tell you. (If you're not wondering, you can stop reading now, and I promise I won't hold it against you.)

Here's the deal. This summer I already had the following items on my list:

1) Work (wherever I can, as much as I can - right now Thatcher and Thatcher South)
2) Keep up with the house (this includes deep cleaning, gardening, and lots of fun from-scratch cooking)
3) Joshua's House (I'm starting a non-profit, it takes a lot of time, okay)

As you can see, my summer was already going to be pretty busy. But now, there's more. My husband and I have been spending a lot of time praying about finances and what God has in store for us, what His will is. While we have no clue what the next little while holds in general, it is clear that my husband's company just doesn't have enough workers. So guess what - I'm going to be doing a lot of organizing and the like for Aspen Web Design.

I know it's crazy. I'm not quite sure how 3rd summer secession will work. Aspen, on top of my other two jobs, not counting anything for Joshua's House, will put me at at least 55 hours of work a week!! AHHHH. But God will help me.

That's what I'm learning today. He has a plan and as long as I turn to Him and allow Him to be my guide I can know that it will all be okay. The hard part for me is the letting go part. I like to sit down and make schedules and figure everything out and KNOW how I'm going to fit every little detail in. However, I know I must resist the urge.

Pretty much, this is what God is trying to say to me:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heat and do not lean on your own understanding. IN all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fer the Lord and turn away form evil." ~Proverbs 3:5-7

So, I'm a little overwhelmed, but I know that God WILL help me. I just have to be willing to let Him choose my priorities. :D

My Quest for Health

Okay, so here is the deal. A while back my doctor told me I have to lose weight (for those of you wondering, I'm not overweight). The reasons are long, boaring and complicated, and I won't get into them now. Anyway, I don't just want to loose weight, I want to be healthy - really healthy. I want to learn how to take care of my body, and how to teach people to take care of theirs. Here are some problems I've been running in to:

1) Most diet programs focus on just weight loss and tend to leave out the total health issue.

2) It's almost impossible to find a diet program for a vegan who does not buy pre-packaged foods.

3) Contradictions. It seems that for everything that's said there are 10 completely different things stated on the same topic. (ex. Carbs are bad, Carbs are good)

4) There is no simple way to understand proper nutrition. How much is a serving? What does 1200 calories look like? And what in the world do you categorize foods as? Some places say beans are carbs, other say they are protein!!

5) What constitutes a good exercise program? How must strength training, cardo? When I'm on cardion workouts does my goal need to be to keep my heart rate up, or to push myself as hard as I can? What exercise routine is really healthy?

6) What are exercising options? People say it needs to be fun, but I just haven't hit on that yet.

7) What is a balanced diet? I mean what vitamins and minerals need to be included, how many of them, where can I get them?

8) What constitutes a good multivitamin? What supplements should I be taking?

Okay, I could go on, but I think You get my point. I've looked in books and books, and it seems that there are so many contradictions, and people make such broad generalizations that I can't seem to find anything that's actually helpful! RAHH! Oh, and all these things are so expensive! I do not have a lot of money to spend on memberships or special foods. I just want to have a natural healthy lifestyle. I know that one of the things that most books talk about is having a low level of stress. Does this industry realize the stress that all of their incongruences and overabundance of only partially useful information causes?

So, this is my current struggle. I don't really know what to do, or where to go, or how to begin this health journey. I do know one thing. I don't drink near enough water. I know that water effects our skin, our appetite, and our overall health in so many ways. For that reason, my first step on this quest for health is going to be to drink 80 ounces of water a day (that's four times of filling up my water bottle). But I can't go from drinking hardly any water to drinking 80 oz just like that, so my beginning goal: Drink at least 40oz of water a day. If I can keep that going, next week I'll increase it to the full 80 oz.

Let's see how all this goes!

The Mad Dash to...Forgiveness

Last night I was worked until close to 1am. I was crazy tired when I got home. As I cuddled up to my husband, he told me he would let me sleep in in the morning. By that I thought he meant somewhere in the neighborhood of 7am (seeing that's late for a morning that I have to work). To my surprise, I woke up at 8:21! I jumped out of my bed and scrambled to the bathroom to get ready. "Arlen," I shouted, "I was supposed to be at work 20 minutes ago!" All of a sudden it was a mad dash to get me ready for work. As Arlen patiently gathered the items I called out, "I need my work shirt, and khakis, and an undershirt, and some socks...Ahhhh! I can't find my ID card," together, we got me out the door, and I arrived at work at 8:31!

Needless to say, when I arrived at work, I was very sleepy and a bit bemuddled, but as I sat and spent time talking to Jesus, I realized something. It is so clear that He has been working in my life. My typical response to being so late to work would be first to snap at Arlen for not getting me up earlier, then to beat up on myself for all of the ways that I could have possibly slipped up to make such a thing happen. I would have droned on and on about how irresponsible I am and would have let it ruin my day. Yet, Jesus calmed me.

Yes, being late to work would mean that I would miss that pay for the day. Being late might mean that I would get in trouble at work. Being late meant that I didn't get a shower before coming to work and that breakfast would be late. I would have some consequences. However, that's not where it ended. I was already late when I woke up, I could not change that, so I decided I would do my best to get to work as fast as I could - and I did. Arlen had not made a mistake, there was simply a misunderstanding, so why blame Him? When it all comes down to it, this is what I really discovered. I cannot continually beat myself up for every mistake I make. I must take responsibility for my slip ups, and accept whatever consequences go along with them, but then I must learn from them and move on.

Then, suddenly I was hit with a better understanding of God's love and forgiveness. When we sin, there are consequences, there is no way around that. However, rather than beating ourselves up and gloating, we can learn from those mistakes, allow them to help us grow, and move on. Christ has covered our sins and has fully forgiven us. He wants us to live like His forgive children.

I can't help but wonder if this is what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 11:28-30 when He said,

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

This is me at work - Thrown together, but forgiven!

Being Rich

Even though I am poor when it comes to money and other worldly measures, I am really quite rich. I am rich in love, and in happiness. God has poured His blessings out on me and my husband. Not to mention that but our Father has all the resources in the whole world, AND, he has given us eternal life. Rich...yeah, I'm rich. :)

Only Slightly Bored

I haven't posted today, so I thought I would. I really have absolutly nothing in mind as far as what I'm writing, so we'll see what happens. I'm working as a D.A. in the dorm today. It's really a good job and it pays really well, but there are rather dull moments in which there is nothing to do...at all. I am currently faced with one of those moments. Arlen will be here soon to pick me up for a lunch break, and that will be nice. But, in the mean time I am going to fill up this space with a bunch of randomness.

There have been a few things today that I have not been particularly eager to do. However, there is nothing that bad, and I have absolutly no room to complain. I am trying to remember 1 Peter 4:10-11, and am praying that God will give me a cheerful working spirit.

"As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever, Amen."

So that's pretty much it. There is not a whole lot else going on. Thanks for reading this ramble if you've made it all the way to the end. If you haven't however (and I guess at this point I'm talking to myself), that's okay - I totally understand.

Well I hope you have a wonderful day! Remember to stay connected to the Source!!

Learning about...life

So, I know I posted about how discouraged and unmotivated I was earlier today. However, God helped me to rummage up enough motivation to get a few things done. No, my day didn't end up being fantastic, but it wasn't bad either. The neat thing is that throughout the day I was filled with joy because God helped me to remember Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." And that's just what I did.

So, here are some pictures from what I did on my ordinary day that Jesus made extraordinary!

Discouraged

Yeah, I'm pretty much discouraged and unmotivated, and I'm not really sure why. I mean there are tons of reasons I could be discouraged I guess. I don't want to list them though, cause that will just make it worse. I have no motivation. There are about 5 things I could/should be doing right now, and I don't want to do any of them. The problem is that there is nothing in particular I would rather do. I just really don't want to do anything. Grrr - this is such a frustrating mood to be in. I need motivation, I need to be cheered up, I need to turn to Jesus, I need...I don't even know what I need. Anyway, it was good to get this off my chest. Thanks for letting me ramble.

But, things are going to change right...now. I'm going to go take my shower, get dressed and clean up this office before work at noon. Hold me to that. On my mark...get set...GO!

Sad News

Okay, so Arlen and I have to move in December. That's when I'm graduating, and we have to move out of student housing. Well, we found a house that we really wanted. It was perfect for us. We just found out today that it is sold!!!! We are so bummed because the location was perfect, and there was land, and all sorts of things.

I know that God has a plan for us (although sometimes I wish He wasn't so secretive). I have decided however, to wait a few more months before I get into the house hunting again. I am pretty familiar with the market around here. It will be different by December too, and I don't want to become to attached to another house that gets sold. Besides Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow (Mathew 6:34). James also reminds us of the dangers of getting caught up in plans of tomorrow. We must focus on Christ and His plans for our lives rather than be caught up in the things we will do here on earth (James 4:13-17).

So yes, I am quite sad that the house we wanted didn't work out, but I know that God has a plan in mind for us. All of the things we thought were perfect about that house may not fit in with the plans He has for us. So I look forward with hope to see what He has in store.

Garden

Just so that you're aware, this blog is going to be a little different than my other blogs. I don't have some deep message to share, or even anything from the Bible. I just thought I would share a little something I'm thinking about.

It's good to have dreams and aspirations, right? Well, I have a dream. It's rather small, but - it's important to me. Let me start out by giving you a little bit of background. I spend all week working on homework and slaving away over text books. Well, it turns out that all of my classes this semester utilize my left-brainness while completely neglecting the other 50% of grey matter. (Yes, I am split right down the middle, I use both my left and right brain equally). What effect does this tid bit of information have on my life? Just this. After a few weeks of running lefty to the max, he gets tired and decides he's overworked and can't do any more. While this is happening Righty begins screaming at the top of his lungs begging for a chance to stretch his aching legs (imagine a 12hr car ride in a tiny back seat). This results in me avoiding my homework because lefty is so plumb tuckered out and can't take any more, yet without allowing righty the chance to move around because all of his work takes to long. If I've lost you at this point I'm dreadfully sorry.

The point I am trying to make is that I want a garden!! This would give me a chance to stretch my creative right brain while giving my left brain a chance to relax. Not only that, but I would then have beautiful flowers to look at and maybe even some tasty veggies to eat! Horray!

There is one cog in my plan - time. So, what is the point of this blog? I'm not really sure. But, I guess I'm done, so I'll stop rambling on now.

Thanks for sticking it out with me. I hope you have a wonderful evening. God bless you!

Scary Stuff

So I have been asked to lead out in a "support group" - I guess that's the best name for it. But to be honest, I'm terrified. I have spent a lot of time wrestling with God. It is clear that this is something He wants me to get involved with, yet I am so under qualified.

Last night I was talking to my husband about this and sharing my apprehensions. What do I do about this, and how to I respond about that, and what if the right thing to say makes someone mad at me, and what if I'm not sensitive enough, and what if I'm too afraid to say what really needs to be said, and... The list went on. I was realizing how much I'm lacking in the wisdom department. But Arlen kept reminding me, "Laura, God will give you the words to say. His Holy Spirit will be with you and He will anoint your lips. All you have to do is ask." Then, it struck me like a tree branch that you don't see until it's left a permanent indention on your forehead, my faith is so weak. As I came across this realization, I became a little more afraid, yet somehow slightly reassured (don't ask, I don't understand it either).

Then Arlen shared this with me:

When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.

What are you arguing with them about?" he asked.

A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."

"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me."

So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"

"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."

The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, "Why couldn't we drive it out?"

He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer."

~Mark 9:14-29 (emphasis mine)

God will meet us where we are at. When our faith is weak, all we need to do is ask Him, and He will help us to trust and believe.

What Will You Lay Down?

i·dol
-noun
1. an image or other material object representing a deity to which religious worship is addressed.
2. any person or thing regarded with blind admiration, adoration, or devotion

Idol is a word that has been thrown around a lot over the past few years. In secular circles American Idol is the new big thing, while for centuries, Christians have been asked to lay down their idols. There are certainly a few common idols that we quickly call to mind like materialism, prestige and reputation, but what about digging a little deeper.

The second definition above says that an idol is a "person or thing regarded with blind admiration, adoration, or devotion." An idol is anything that we place our hope and trust in other than God. So, I guess an idol could also be classified as anything that prohibits us from total devotion to God by placing that devotion elsewhere. Hmm...that's something to think about. What are some idols you struggle with? Here are a few of the ones that seem to get me (maybe you can relate to a few of them):

1. emotions
2. grades
3. reputation
4. the clock (my schedule)
5. achieving
6. stuff/covetous (ie. a house, better clothes, a garden...)
7. selfishness (my own desires)
8. My dreams and plans (sometimes I seek these above God's will)
9. comfort
10. laziness (lack of discipline and drive)

So, why is it some important to understand what our idols are? As I've been reading Isaiah, I've noticed that only when the people turn away from their idols, when they lay them down so that they can fully embrace God, it is at that point that the Lord can come to them and truly rescue them. This is because God can only truly lead us, guide us and pour out His best on us if we can receive them in full. We must not allow anything to get in the way of living out His amazing law that He has set in place to bring us true joy in peace.

Ask God to show you the idols in your life. What are they? Hebrews 3 says this:

12See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

So let us now encourage one another. If you would like to share the idol that God has placed on your heart to give up today, reply to this blog, and we can all lift each other up in prayer!

Today I will strive to lay down my idol of emotions.