Monday, April 02, 2007

Scary Stuff

So I have been asked to lead out in a "support group" - I guess that's the best name for it. But to be honest, I'm terrified. I have spent a lot of time wrestling with God. It is clear that this is something He wants me to get involved with, yet I am so under qualified.

Last night I was talking to my husband about this and sharing my apprehensions. What do I do about this, and how to I respond about that, and what if the right thing to say makes someone mad at me, and what if I'm not sensitive enough, and what if I'm too afraid to say what really needs to be said, and... The list went on. I was realizing how much I'm lacking in the wisdom department. But Arlen kept reminding me, "Laura, God will give you the words to say. His Holy Spirit will be with you and He will anoint your lips. All you have to do is ask." Then, it struck me like a tree branch that you don't see until it's left a permanent indention on your forehead, my faith is so weak. As I came across this realization, I became a little more afraid, yet somehow slightly reassured (don't ask, I don't understand it either).

Then Arlen shared this with me:

When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.

What are you arguing with them about?" he asked.

A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."

"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me."

So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"

"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."

The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, "Why couldn't we drive it out?"

He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer."

~Mark 9:14-29 (emphasis mine)

God will meet us where we are at. When our faith is weak, all we need to do is ask Him, and He will help us to trust and believe.

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