The Woman of Proverbs 31

Last night as I was spending time with God, I decided to study one of the women of the Bible. In my study, God led me to Proverbs 31. If you are a female, just bringing up this figure most likely elicits one of two responses.

Response #1: You are squirming with discomfort. The woman of Proverbs 31 is too much to look up to. When does she sleep? Can someone possibly do that much? She must be Superwoman. If I just ignore she exists, my life will be much happier.

Response #2: The Proverbs 31 woman - now she is someone to look up to, someone I strive to be like. And then you make a list of all of the tasks she has accomplished and plan to be just like her.

Those may not be 100% accurate, but I have to admit that I frequently jump between the two responses. Yet, as I studied last night, God taught me a few things.

Point #1: Jesus is our ultimate example. While the Proverbs 31 woman is pretty cool, and we can learn a lot from her, we must never place her example above God's example.

Point #3: It's in the principles. Just as with most Biblical characters and stories, God often chooses to teach us principles. There are many in the Bible whom God specifically called to follow Him. Yet when the healed demoniac asked to follow Jesus, he was told to stay where he was and tell others about how he was healed. Yet in cases of both followers and the demoniac, the principle is the same - we must be willing to give up everything, including our own desires, to be obedient to God's callings.

Here are some of the principles we can learn from the Proverbs 31 woman:

• Diligence/Hard work
• Care for family
• Stewardship
• Compassion
• Wisdom
• Fear of the Lord

Point #3: We can't do it ourselves. This is so crucial, and is something I'm learning in so many areas of my life. Just as I posted before, we can do nothing without God. We must allow Him to work in us. Then life becomes less of an issue of a list to check off, and more a life of surrender and dependence on God's strength to follow through with His plans for our lives.

I guess the main thing that is sticking with me from this study is my need to depend on God. So often I become stressed and overwhelmed. What do others think about my house, my work, my life, etc? How do they perceive me? Am I doing things the right way? Am I making the right choices? I often feel that my life has to look perfect and pristine - just like the Proverbs 31 woman. So I try . . . really hard.

Yet it is in trying that I go wrong. I cannot let social constraints determine what is important or how I should live my life. I cannot base my choices on perceived expectations of others. I must allow God to have all of my heart and my life. He can then work in me to make me more diligent, caring, compassionate, wise and a better steward. He can also help me to learn to grow in Him and give Him higher priority.

To Blog or Not to Blog, That is the Question.

So, I'm realizing the importance of blogging again. It's not to get my grand ideas out there to share with the world what's going on in my life. It's not to build a strong community. It's not to share advice. It's to help build my relationship with God.

That may sound like an odd reason, but it couldn't be any closer to the truth. I am someone who processes my thoughts, who makes sense of life by sharing. I am a talker by nature. However, in this day in age it is hard to come by people to listen. Even if I did, there is only so much I can say at once. Blogging gives me an opportunity to internalize, sort thorough, and apply what I'm learning.

Sometimes it's hard to make things concise. Sometimes it's hard to make things make sense at all, but that struggling through my thoughts, that sticking through until something comes out, tends to make all the difference in the world.

So, I am going to try to do just that. I am going to try to blog more. Hold me to it too. If you haven't seen a blog in a while, ask me why. And pray for me. Pray that this blog does not become something that's all about my cooking or how good I am at this or that. I may share some of these things at times, but this should never become my focus. If no one ever reads this blog, I pray that through my writings and ramblings I may draw closer to God. If others do read it, I pray that it may provoke some deeper thinking in their minds that they may draw closer to their Heavenly Father.

So, with a whirlwind racing through my mind, I am going to jot a few notes about some of the important things that I want to share, but must save for other blogs (writing about them all now would produce a volume far too large for one entry).

This is the book I'm currently reading. It's "Education" by Ellen G. White. I am learning so much from this book, and I look forward to sharing insights with you. I really think that this is a great read for Teachers, Parents, or anyone who comes into contact with children at any point. In fact this book has great stuff for people who don't do anything of the sort. It has truly been a blessing to me.

The lesson that I'm currently learning is self-discipline. I have a long way to go, but God is helping me. I know I can't do anything on my own. When I see that pile of dishes that needs to be washed I am learning to stop trying to muster up the discipline to just get up and do them. Rather, I'm learning to turn to God and say, "Lord, I don't want to do them, but please, help me do them anyway." He usually not only helps me, but gives me a cheerful heart as well.

The last thing I'm learning is how to love my husband more. I won't go into much detail as I'm just beginning to touch the surface of this area. I just know that I have been pleading with God for such a long time to show me what it means to be a wife. He is starting to show me step-by-step.

It's Not About Me

All too often I get caught in a trap. It is a trap that many Christians get caught in. It's the trap of focusing on self. Now, I'm not talking about narcissism here. What I'm talking about is sort of akin to a theology of works. Let me explain.

I continually have this measure of things that a Christian is supposed to be. Some of the things on this spiritual yard-stick are Biblical, some are self-imposed and others come from the influences of those around me. For example the fruit of the spirit:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ~Galatians 5:22-23

It's easy for me to take a look at that passage an say, "Okay, I need more love, I need more joy, I need more peace, certainly more patience, I can use more kindness . . . So, what do I need to do to be more joyful? How can I make myself more happy? Maybe if I put on a joyful mask, my heart will follow suit. "

I think you get my point - I try to change myself and to focus on theses acts or works to make them a reality in my life. That is all wrong. I can't. No matter how hard I work. No matter what I do. I cannot change myself to have these things be a part of me. In the case of the fruits of the spirit, I must remember that they are just that. Outgrowths of the Holy Spirit at work in my life, not a result of my striving.

Jeremiah 13:23 says:

Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil.

This can seem hopeless but after talking to the rich young ruler, Jesus tells His disciples,

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." ~Matthew 19:26

Although we cannot change ourselves, Christ has the power to change us. So what are we to do? Why does the Bible tell us these things? Why does it show us the actions that follow the commitment? It gives us an opportunity to see our need of Christ. When we look at God's word and recognize where we have gone wrong, it is not our job to reform ourselves. No, we must draw closer and closer to our heavenly Father, surrendering our whole heart to Him. It is only in this submission that we may become changed.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." ~John 15:5

As If for Jesus

I was looking around the house today at all the work has been done. We are getting into the last few stages and it's coming together. The builders will most certainly be done by the end of this week. We still have our work cut out for us, but that's a whole other blog.

As I was looking I was thinking about how this isn't our home. We have never really looked at it that way. This is God's house. He owns it, we are simply keeping it up for Him and making it available for His purposes. What if all of the work I did on the house reflected that? What if I never cut corners?

What if I did that with all of my work? What if I washed dishes as if I was washing them for God? What if I cleaned, cooked, shopped, taught, tutored, ran Joshua's House as if I was doing it all for God? What a difference it would make.

But that is what God called us to do - I just pray that He can help me to remember to live my life to His glory.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
~ 1 Corinthians 10: 31

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
~ 1 Peter 4:11

The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
~ Matthew 25:40

Use a Pencil

I just discovered something simple that takes a little stress out of my life: write with a pencil. I know it seems crazy, but I found that writing in my day planner with pencil makes my life much easier. I still use a pen sometimes, but only for things that are set in stone that I know won't change. I write everything else in pencil - including meals, how I'm spending blocks of time, exercise, everything.

For some reason, being able to erase and change things around easily gives me peace of mind. For example, I was going to spend most of tomorrow painting the kitchen. Two things changed. First of all, my husband and I decided we want to finish the bathroom before the kitchen. Second, the builders are still working, and I don't feel comfortable doing a lot of heavy work when they are around. Solution, erase, copy, move around - presto chango, and all stress free - keeping my planner looking nice and neat.

I know this may not sound like much to you guys, but it made a BIG difference to me. It's like using a pencil gives me freedom to be more flexible. I love it.

Fruit of the spirit - Joy

Joy. This is a word that is talked about throughout the Bible. David talks about joy, Jesus talks about Joy, Paul talks about joy. In fact one of the fruits of the spirit is joy.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."
~Galatians 5:22-23a

So, joy is a fruit of the spirit, what does that mean? That means if Christ is living in us, our hearts will be filled with joy!

God longs for our hearts to be filled with joy. He shows us that through nature - singing birds, beautiful flowers, the sun and moon that give us light and so much more. He gives us joy through people - loved ones that surround us. He longs to fill our hearts with joy so that we may have so much of it that it does not diminish even in the face of adversity.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Let us do just that. Leave a comment and give thanks to God. What makes you joyful? How does God bring happiness into your life?

Reignition

I have some exciting news! My passion for Joshua's House is growing again! I can't wait to be able to really delve into things. It's hard because now with remodeling the house, teaching, leading Sabbath School, and being a wife I only have about 10 hours a week available to work on Joshua's house. But God knows that, and whatever I have is enough for Him.

You are probably wondering what made the change, what pulled me out of the slump. Two things really. First of all, sharing. You know that's how things are. The more we share with others about things that are exciting to us, the more excited we get. That's why it's so important for us to continually share with others what God is doing in our lives. May our lips never quiet.

I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.

My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

~ Psalm 34:1-3

The second thing is remembering who I am and what God has called me to. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I am a missionary for God right here. Often the going gets tough, and because I live in comfortable suburbia, it's easy to forget my calling. Yet God never fails to call me back. So here I am. I am ready to serve God however He calls me to serve. I'm ready to give Him my all, be it through Joshua's House, my contact with people at the grocery store, serving my husband, or anything in-between.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
~ Colossi ans 3:1-4

Creating Margins

This Sabbath included a lot of serious prayer and wrestling with God . . . and my schedule. Arlen and I have come to realize how unreasonable our schedules and expectations are. The worst thing was coming to terms with the fact that we haven't been allowing God to be Lord of our lives. Rather, we have tried to do things our own way. We are working really hard with God to get on track.

We are both trying to learn to live with margins. (Margins are breathing room in your schedule where nothing is planned.) It's so easy for us to cram everything in as tight as we can. We then end up stressed and rarely have time for the things that are really important in life (like people). Another thing that we noticed is that we rarely take time to actually evaluate or schedules and expectations.

One of the first steps for me was making the decision to cut some things out of my schedule. After this semester, I will not be teaching at Southern any more. I am also dropping two of the three things I'm involved with at church. (Don't worry, I'm not leaving the Junior department.) Even with these changes, things are a bit tight, but God will continue to lead.

As I was working on my new system of schedules and to do lists I found some interesting discoveries. I looked at my to do list and picked the really important things that "must be done this week." After I chose these items I began looking at how much time each one is really going to take. Then I started trying to put them all into my schedule. Maybe if I didn't sleep, and added 2-5 hours to every day I could get them all done. At first these discoveries were a bit discouraging; yet as I pondered, this new information became liberating. Now I can give others proper expectations about when I can get things done. I can have proper expectations for myself. Not only that, but I won't be so hard on myself for failing to keep up with an impossible schedule.

I'm also learning that the things that are important to God are the things that are most important period . . . regardless of what others think. This one can be hard for me at times, but when people see something about me or my life, they are only catching a small glimpse. Even I can see but a shadow of it all - only God has a bird's eye view.

I can tell that God is working in my life in so many ways. I still have much to learn and many ways to grow. This is all rather exciting.

Beagle Chasing

I just realized that so many of my blogs are about stress and learning to trust in God. (I'm a slow learner, but I'm so thankful God hasn't given up on me.) In lieu of this, I thought I should submit a blog on something a little different.

I would love to impart some useful piece of knowledge, but nothing is coming to mind . . . Oh, I know, I'll tell you a fun story.

As some of you know I want a dog so very badly!! I have wanted one for a long time, but now that we have a house, that desire has grown into a gigantic . . . thing. I'm sure a lot of this is because now, having a dog is actually an option. Yet, even thought it is a possibility, my husband and I have decided to wait on getting such a fun, furry friend for a few other things.

#1 - We need to get the house done and be all settled in
#2 - We need to get Arlen's cat all comfy and settled
#3 - Some certain financial goals must be met

Having said all of this, I can now tell my story.

As Arlen and I were headed back from Hilton Head on Saturday, Arlen spotted a beagle on the side of the interstate. My immediate response was to pull over - a dog on the interstate can only mean something bad. Unfortunately I did not convey this information to Arlen fast enough. In the back of my mind too, I knew that if we rescued the little tyke and were unable to find it's owners (which is likely because it was probably a dumped dog), we would end up keeping it. I liked this idea, but I ultimately let Arlen make the decision about going on or turning back.

He decided to turn back.

I became excited, picturing myself driving back with a cute little dog in my arms. "Lord," I prayed, "please help us to get the dog, and help it to be okay."

To make a long story short, after backtracking several exits, talking to a friendly sheriff and running like crazy, we were unable to find the missing hound. It seems there was another family or couple who had the same idea as us, and they were able to get to the little guy first. (At least we think that must be what happened.)

I have to admit that at first I was a little bummed. After 30+ minutes of searching, and an eager anticipation of a new pet, I was a bit crushed.

However as I got home, I realized just how perfect God's timing is. When we got home, hardly any more work had been done on finishing our house. In my moment of excitement, I had forgotten about some important financial obligations that would have been strained, not to mention the mental stability of my husband's beloved cat.

God wants us to ask Him for things. Sometimes He says yes, and sometimes He says no. When He says no, we must trust that He is looking out for us, even when we can't see it.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

~ Psalm 27:14

Out on a Limb

I saw this picture today and thought, "boy can I relate."

Sometimes I feel as if life is so crazy and busy that I am going to fall off of the limb that I'm barely hanging on to.

This happened to me today. It seemed like everything was going wrong. Things with the house were not going well, things with Joshua's house were not going well and on top of all that, my external back-up hard-drive appeared to be broken. I had taken the time to plan out my day nicely and be realistic about my expectations, but I felt like I was just barely hanging on to a limb.

I want you to look at that picture closer though. Does that leopard look scared? Does he look like he is barely hanging on? No. He knows that he is on a solid surface that will support him well. What if he started freaking out and didn't trust the strong branch underneath him? Do you think he would be so safe then? Of course not - he would be in danger of falling off.

Hmm . . . it started making sense. If I will just trust the foundation I have under me, and not freak out, things won't be so bad. Upon this discovery, I stopped for a few minutes to spend some time with the One who holds me. I realized how often I don't trust Him and I depend on my own strength. He led me here, and it is here that I will leave you (NIV emphasis mine):

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Pondering...

Some things I long for:

• A finished home that I can settle into
• More funding for Joshua's House
• A few Godly friends who I can study the Bible with and turn to for a pointer back to God
• Opportunities to help others
• Wisdom with finances
• Patience
• Dedication
• The ability to get out of the rat race of life and into a slower pace of life
• My backup drive for my computer to work again
  

Some things that I am thankful for

• A roof over my head
• A wonderful and loving husband
• Many friends who call me to tell me happy birthday and the like (it really means a lot)
• God's strength to quit my job after this semester (even though I really do love it)
• A dishwasher
• The Bible
• My $25 Thrift Store Recliner that is oh so comfy
• The beautiful morning chorus provided by God's creation
• Spring is coming!
• Plenty of food to eat

Some promises to cling to:

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 1:6

if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.
~2 Timothy 2:13

Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

~Psalm 20:6-7

An Oystercatcher and a Pearl

We saw this funny little creature flying about as we sat eating at a sea-side restaurant on Hilton Head Island. Then I saw it, the bird flew up into the air and dropped an oyster to the rocky beach below. It quickly swooped down and gobbled up the contents of the cracked shells. Right away I knew what type of sea bird this was - it was an Oystercatcher. I had learned about these birds in a biology class.

Oystercatchers pick their oysters very carefully. They do not pick little ones because the tiny shells are too difficult to break. By the time the birds fly high enough for the shells to break, it is likely that another bird will slyly dive down and steal the food before the oystercatcher can reach it. It is important that they are patient and wait for the oysters to grow to just the right size.

They do not pick big oysters because they break at about the same height as the medium ones, but are much heavier to carry. By the time it's all said and done, the smart sea birds end up getting the greatest amount of calories for the least amount of effort by searching for the medium-sized oysters. Greediness certainly does not pay off.

It's amazing how God makes all of his animals in such unique ways, with just the abilities they need to survive. And it's amazing how much we can learn from them. It is important that we are persistent, just like the little oystercatchers. We must make sure we search for just the right oyster. We cannot lazily pick the little ones but must be patient for maturation. We must not be greedy either, picking what looks the best (in the worlds eyes), striving to get ahead. Rather, we must seek the good things that God has for us. We must be patient for Him.

This kind of reminds me of the parable of the pearl of great price:

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.
~Matthew 13:45-46

The merchant took the time to look for the right pearl. He would not settle for lesser pearls, and he did not want pearls that may have been bigger, but were indeed less valuable in the end. He gave his all for what he knew would ultimately be the greatest gain.

Don't settle for less, and don't give up too soon. Give your all for that one special pearl.

Mustard Seed Faith

It was Friday. I sat nervously looking at the clock, then the pad of paper in front of me, then to the computer. I had an interview in just a few minutes and I was quickly trying to come up with questions to ask those wishing to work for Joshua's House.

It's hard to plan an interview when I've never seen one or been to one. I was pretty sure who I wanted to hire already. What if I made a fool of myself? Oh dear - I thought I must be more stressed than the interviewees.

I went into my first interview with no problems. Shortly after, the second interview was scheduled and I went through the whole nervous process again.

Somewhere in between I looked at my schedule for next week - ack! It was already filling up. My schedule just changed from working a maximum of 3 hours on Monday and 3 hours on Wednesday to a minimum of 7 hours each of those days. I was already feeling like there was just too much to do. So I began to stress a little more.

As I finished the second interview for Joshua's House and had my hiring all done, my stress level increased again. I didn't realize how much work it was going to take to get the workers going. For the next little while I've got my work cut out for me.

Not only that, but now I really have to get on top of fund raising. I need funds for a computer or two, software, hardware, sound effects and not to mention I still need funds to go through the 501(c)(3) process.

My head was spinning.

Then it came:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28-30

Rest. . . peace. . . how great those would be.

Then I realized that Joshua's House is not my ministry, but God's. I can look to Him to provide. I must trust Him:

"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you." ~ Luke 17:6

Then I thought some more. It's not just about trusting God to lead with Joshua's House but with all of my life. Everything that I do belongs to Him. Every tiny part of my schedule, everything I'm involved in, from work to Sabbath School, etc.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
~Proverbs 3:5-6

I am so thankful for an amazing job, lots of kids to be around at church, a wonderful husband, and a chance to minister to kids at Southern, and a chance to be a part of a new ministry God has started. Isn't our God amazing?!

2 Timothy 2:13 - He is Faithful

My husband and I have experienced a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. And that's no understatement. I think that we would both agree it's in the top 5 of our worst weeks ever. But . . . we are still here. :)

It's true that the trials have been tough, but isn't that to be expected of any mission journey? We are currently displaced. We had to leave our apartment and for three weeks now have been living with Arlen's parents. We were supposed to move directly into our new house, but things have not gone according to plan. We honestly aren't sure when we will be able to move. Arlen's whole office crew is camped out on his parent's dining room table. We hope to at least be able to move into the office of the house by early next week at the VERY latest. In the meantime, I will become a master at laying wood laminate floor to try to hurry things along. Woo Hoo!

In the wake of being sort of homeless, we have had some personal crises arise, along with smaller things that would not be a big deal were it not for the other larger issues at hand. Yet God has never left our sides. Even when we have doubted and our faith has grown weak, He has been there walking through it all along with us. He has shared our pains and sorrows and our joys and triumphs.

There is no telling what's around the corner, it may be more trials, it may be a period of great triumphs. Only God knows, and that's why I must ever lean on Him and trust His guidance!

Here is a trustworthy saying:
If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
if we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.

~ 2 Timothy 2:11-13

In the Beginning...

Over the past year my life has been utterly out of control. My life has been so busy and hectic that it has been all I could do to hold myself together each day. Amidst all of this something in me has changed. I have lost my passion and zeal for life, for the things that are really important to me, for God even. Suddenly life has become this great survival race rather than what it was meant to be - a life in service, a joyful life, to my King.

I was talking to God about this last night and I was sharing with Him a bit about my loss of passion in life. Among other things one of the things that has turned from sheer pleasure to something I seem to avoid (if only subconsciously) is my time with Him. Especially digging into His word. A few years ago I woke up early (4am) every day so that I could have two uninterrupted hours to spend with my Heavenly Father. I would spend half of that time praying and half of that time diving deep into the precious words of my savior. I was always sad when that time was over, and it seemed like I could never get enough of Gods Word. I would just soak it up, eager to share what I was learning with those around me. How I long for such a joy and excitement.

I was also sharing with God my desire to truly know His Word. Even when I read it and drink deep, I soon forget what I've read or where it is. It seems like there are so many people (most of them much older) who have clung to the Word of God for such encouragement and guidance. They can refer to God's Word no matter what is going on in their lives. I want to be like that, yet, having that kind of familiarity with a book that is so big and huge and...you get the point...is just...well...overwhelming and intimidating. So as I prayed, I asked God where to begin. What is the first step that I can take.

For some reason, whenever I hit these stupors in my life God always seems to take me back to the same place . . . the beginning. So, there I went.

1In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. 3Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. 4God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. 5God called the light day, and the darkness He called night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.

Looking at the first verse I realized something. God is the founder of the universe. He had an amazing idea, and was able to start something bigger than we could ever imagine all on His own. Last night it dawned on me that if I read no more in the whole Bible, that one verse would be enough to help me realize that God is worthy to be praised. He needs no more credentials.

Yet even now, God continues to speak to me. I get so frustrated and feel inadequate when it comes to starting Joshua's House (a non-profit organization I'm building). But, if God can create the whole universe, why do I even bother to be concerned. I have the founder of this planet as my partner! Wow!

I'm Going to Be a Missionary

I know this may sound silly, but I am going to be a missionary...right here in the Chattanooga/Collegedale area. Just like any missionary, I'm not exactly sure what to expect. I don't know what my daily schedule will look like, or what my job description will be. I don't know how or where I will connect with people or come into contact with people who can be lead to a closer relationship with God. There are so many things I am unsure of. However, in this open future I do know a few things.


#1 My mission is to reach out to families, all families, but mostly families that are hurting. This includes a LOT of people. I want to reach out to single-parent homes, homes with divorce, homes with pain, homes where children may not get all the love they need. I want to get to know these people, to build relationships with them, to throw my all into it. I want to spend time with them, have them over for food, help them to grow and become strengthened. Most of all, it is my prayer that through these contacts with children and primary care-givers that they can be led into a deeper relationship with God.

#2 I want to reach out not only to Adventists, or even Christians. This is a hard one. While I have non-adventist family members, I grew up in an Adventist Bubble, and I still live in one. How do I meet non-Adventists? I guess that's where God comes in.

#3 I do not have to bring in income. This is hard for me. I want to really help support our family (me and my husband) financially. But, it doesn't look like this is what God is calling me to do. That's how it is with mission work sometimes. You have to scrimp around. I will trust that God will provide the money that we need when we need it.

So, that's what I'm doing with the rest of my life. I'm sure Joshua's House will play a role, but will not be the focus of all that I am doing. I am eager and excited to see where God will lead me on this missionary journey.

I graduate on December 13, so my missionary deployment will begin right after Christmas. I look forward to updating you all on progress and sharing with You all of the exciting people God brings into my life.

It's All Because Of School

Have you ever noticed how my blogs suddenly stop when school starts? It's amazing how busy and crazy things get. I hope to start blogging again soon. I only have 47 days left until graduation, and then I plan on taking it easy for a while, which means...more blogging! Yay!

A Day in the Life of Butter

Okay, so this is really a picture of Peanut, but Butter just moves too much for the Camera.

Butter is my pet mouse. He has had quite an interesting day, but I don't want to spoil it. Here's the story from his perspective:

Today started like any other day. I woke up - itchy as usual. I've got to stop scratching because my skin is really taking a beating. Anyway, today was, like I said, pretty normal. Early on, one of the big hands reached into my cage to give me some more food. The big hand let me climb around on it some. Then it gave me a treat - that's the best part.

I kinda like that big hand. It feeds me, and gives me water and treats. It even lets me snuggle up in it sometimes. There's something comforting about it. It's nice.

It didn't take long for this normal day to become not so normal. All of a sudden, the big hands picked up my house. What was going on? Next thing I knew, I was in this hot, muggy thing and it felt like everything was moving under me. I went forward and backwards. I didn't like it and I started to get sick. I just wanted out!

Then, suddenly the moving thing stopped moving. And the big hands picked my house up out of the big, moving, hot thing. It was great! I was done...or so I thought. After moving my house around several times, the big hands finally left it alone in one place for a little while.

The big hand rested in my cage like it usually did, waiting for me to climb up on it. I quickly went to it, hoping that it would have something comforting to offer me, but it didn't! It gave me to another set of big hands I'd never seen before and then put me on this cold, black, hard thing. That was scary. Then, I was able to go back to my home.

Not long after that, the new, strange set of hands came and got me again. Then, another set of strange hands put some kind of liquid on me and scraped one of my scabs - ouch! That hurt! I DID NOT LIKE THIS! Why couldn't the day just end?

Soon, I was placed safely in my home again, but not for long. Again, I was picked up by that strange pair of hands. This time they held me tight and I was forced to eat something. It actually tasted kind of good, but I didn't understand why I had to be held so tightly, or why I was forced to eat it.

When I was put back in my cage this time, I was also put back into the hot moving thing. Would this ever end?! It did end. Soon, I was safe with my house in it's usual spot. All was peaceful and quiet. However, I have just been moved to a different home. It's smaller, and I'm not sure I'm happy about it. The wheel is even smaller.

What is with today? It must be the worst day of my life!
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The story from the perspective of the big hands (me).

I noticed that Butter had been scratching a lot lately. He had scratched himself so much that he was beginning to scratch big hunks right out of his skin. After much online hunting, I concluded that he must have mites. Mites cause all sorts of itchiness for mice (it's the equivalent of Scabes for humans), and if untreated, can actually kill them. After some more research, I concluded that this must have been what caused the death of our beloved Peanut.

I hunted for the prescribed cure at area pet stores, but to no avail. There was only one solution to rid my mouse of this terrible itch and save him from (sort of certain) death - a trip to the vet.

I loaded Butter into the hot vehicle, blasting the air and driving slowly and gingerly so as to cause the poor mouse the least possible stress. When I got to the vet they weighed Butter at a healthy 0.4lbs. Then they took him off for a skin scrape. This was to make sure that my initial conclusion (about mites) was correct. The vet tech returned, informing me that the vet had found half a mite and was looking in his books for further information.

Butter was given a dose of oral medication, and I was left with strict instructions on a several days process of sterilizing his cage. Fortunately, we have a small cage from before that would suffice while Butter's larger cage when through rigorous sanitation. We moved him over as soon as we had a chance this evening.

Next Friday he goes back to the vet for another dose of medication and an exam to check on those pesky little critters. Hopefully that visit will find him mite free, itch free and without the danger of dieing from those pesky varmets.

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Oh how often I feel like Butter. Everything seems to be going wrong; nothing right. Yet, I must remember that there is a loving pair of hands taking care of me. He knows the whole situation, and He sees far more than I can imagine. It is my prayer that I may learn to trust Him more. To trust even what I don't understand.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."
~Proverbs 3:5-6

Don't forget the jogging.

Athletic shoes - check. Athletic socks - check. Super sporty pony tail - check. Nice and comfy exercise pants - check. Pliable exercise shirt - check. Woo Hoo - I'm ready to work out now.

I love wearing my exercise clothes. For one thing they are incredibly comfortable. For another thing they make me feel fit and slim. When I'm wearing my work-out garb I feel like I could run a mile, for that matter, I feel like I could run 10 miles. I am motivated.

As I dressed in such attire today and was looking at my schedule, it hit me. I can wear these confidence boosting clothes, but I'm not any more fit, slim, healthy, toned, etc until I actually exercise. Yes, it's sad but true. When it comes right down to it, this outfit really doesn't do much for me except give me a little boost. It really isn't a miracle outfit though. I won't lose 5 pounds if I wear it 30 minutes every day. I won't tone my abs if I jump into the suit while working on homework. It just doesn't work that way.

Then I was thinking some more, and this kind of reminds me of Christianity. Wearing Christian clothes, having the title, going to church, etc doesn't make me a Christian. These are all like my exercise outfit. Sure, they can be great motivators and reminders, but in and of themselves, they don't do much.

James talks about this in James 1:22-25

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

Let us fully embrace the gift, the love, the life that our Father in Heaven has giving us. Sure, go out, joyfully wear your exercise outfit. But in the process, don't forget a nice, refreshing jog. I'll see you at the starting line!

My God is so BIG

"My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God can not do. My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God can not do."

As these words floated through the air at cradle roll this morning. I thought for a moment. "There's nothing my God can not do." I know it's true. Obviously we learn that from an early age. I mean for crying out loud, God parted the red sea, he provided manna in the desert, he walked on water, he healed multitudes, he created the earth and everything in it! There truly is nothing that He cannot do.

But then I thought some more. I really don't believe that do I? If I did, I wouldn't stress so much about finances. I wouldn't worry when plans didn't seem to be working right. Whenever I had a problem I would turn to God FIRST. My thoughts continued along this line for quite some time.

It's amazing how profound a song sung by 2-4 year olds can truly be!

Mightier than the thunder of the great waters,
mightier than the breakers of the sea—
the LORD on high is mighty.
~ Psalm 93:4